Entitled

I once had a friend who spent half of her time being super-mom to two teenage boys, and the other half trying to break them of the creeping sense of “entitlement” she saw taking root early on. She noticed in them an almost demanding expectation that they were “due” certain food, designer clothes, taxi service, spending money, privileges, freedoms and quality of life. Their attitude angered her, and she was determined to reshape their thinking, or at least their behavior, in that area.

And as much as we shake our heads at people, especially kids, who lack a natural reflex of gratitude or appreciation for the good things they enjoy — there is also an upside to “entitlement.” It’s not always a dirty word.

Exhibit A: two-year-old Owen Grefrath, who helped me see that a sense of entitlement can be one of the best legacies we pass on to our children.

I first saw Owen in action on a dairy farm, in a huge barn lined on both sides with hundreds of miking cows. He wasn’t much more than two feet tall and still a little unstable on his toddler legs. But Owen confidently trotted the full length of the barn next to his mom and dad — both young dairy farmers. He acted like he owned the place. His stubby little fists picked up small clumps of feed and moved them purposefully from one pile to another a few feet away. He was a man on a mission, laughing and talking with the cows, mimicking their sounds. He was respectful but familiar with the beasts that dwarfed him in size and girth. There’s no doubt in my mind that if Owen felt a nap coming on, he could have laid right down in a pile of feed and had a quick, comfortable snooze.

Owen’s mom grew up on that farm, and after getting her college degree, came back and made it her life’s work. She’s planning on passing her lifestyle and legacy on to Owen. And by the way he handles himself, he’s feeling pretty “entitled” to peaceful mornings, long days, hard work, beautiful sunsets, the satisfaction of a job well done, and working alongside family.

That’s one kind of “entitled” I can really get behind.


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